4 Proven Secrets to Mending A Broken Heart Quickly
Have you recently gone through a breakup? Are you suffering from a broken heart? A heartbreak can affect us in many ways. You may lose your confidence, feel as if you don’t belong anywhere. When it is really bad, you can even become depressed. Breakups have happened to the best of us; hence luckily for us, there is great advice out there on how to get over a heartbreak. Here are some proven ways to help you quickly deal with breakups and mend a broken heart.
Secret 1: Eliminate “Triggers”
Have you wondered why you just can’t move on from your ex no matter how hard you try? It is more likely because you have formed a habit of thinking of the person, especially when you are in a long-term relationship. When you see your ex, you are likely to be reminded of a lot of things that happened during your relationship, whether good or bad.
If you want to stop a habit, you need to first eliminate all triggers. Learn how to do this in this best-selling book. Cutting contact is the way to do this. It also makes you focus on other things that will help you stop the habit and forget your ex. Unless in cases of divorce where you may have to keep communicating because of the children. In such a case, make the communication as little as possible and not personal at all, to help you move on fast.
Secret 2: The Power of “Acceptance”
If you continue denying what has happened in your relationship or putting more efforts into getting accepted by your ex, you are prolonging the process of moving on. However you like to look at it, this is a moment of loss, having lost someone you truly loved. Denying it and using defense mechanisms does not help much. Instead, allow yourself to feel the grief and loss. By accepting that the break up has actually happened and that there is nothing you can do about it, helps you find closure faster and leave that part of your life behind.
“Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people are just passing through to bring you something – perhaps a lesson you need to learn, or memory that makes you smile years later.”
Secret 3: Increase Your Dopamine with “Expectations”
Dopamine is one of the happy hormones. When you are lacking it, you feel less motivated and depressed. Therefore, how do you increase your dopamine levels naturally? One of the easiest ways is to take oral supplements to instantly feel amazing. However, here we are focusing on using “expectations” to increase your happy chemicals naturally.
As you probably already know, human behavior is driven by seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. It means when you are expecting rewards, your dopamine level is increased. One trick to make this happens is to write down small and achievable goals for next week or next month. You will realize that you stop feeling emotional pain right away while you are doing this. It is because you are using your logical brain to construct a plan. Your confidence will be boosted when you actually achieve the goals, and the better you feel about yourself, the more likely you can outgrow your past.
Secret 4: The Magic of “Distractions”
Once you cut the contact with your ex, go through the grieving process, and achieve your goals, does that mean you can finally move on and be happy again? Probably not. The last missing piece is “distractions.” You need to find substitutions for your needs. Just because you feel you have moved on does not mean that you don’t have the desires for all the positive feelings that you used to get out of your relationship anymore. Whenever you have those desires again, you are likely to think about your ex. The holes are still there and you can only fill them out is to meet other people.
Meeting new people can be very interesting. It is natural you might compare everyone you meet to your ex and treat the next person as a rebound. You just need to be open-minded and careful about it so you don’t hurt others. Also, meeting new people doesn’t mean that you’ll get into another relationship right away. It just exposes you to new cultures, experiences or even increases your social circle. Most importantly, it distracts you from the painful memories and accelerates the moving on process.
Final Thoughts on Healing A Broken Heart
It is not an easy process, but you can get over a breakup, mend your broken heart and move on to live a full life. One book I love is Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliot. Many of my close friends have also testified this book has effectively helped them through this dark time. If you want to get your control back, you can get yourself a copy now and emerge from the breakup as a stronger and more confident person.